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Dear flip phone,

You have been my friend for many years; about 10 to be exact.  Lots of people don’t understand why we have been friends for so long.  I know, newer and better friend versions have come along, but I’ve never been one to give up on friends easily.  You are no exception despite the fact that I have been bullied because of you a time or two; even by my own family members.   I’m okay with that because you have been worth it.
flip phoneI want to thank you for all of the good friend qualities you have brought to the table:

-you are low maintenance
-you are a cheap yet loyal date
-you are inconspicuous
-you help me mind my manners by not interrupting me constantly
-you are not jealous; expecting me to give all of my time to you alone
-you mostly allow me to be present in the moments of my life
-you don’t expect me to sleep with you
-you have not required constant upgrades
-you make it possible for me to keep in contact with people I love
-you are okay with being left behind when something more important than you is taking place
-you always pick up right where we left off
-you don’t tell anyone where I am or what I’m doing

I have always believed that honesty is the best policy so I need to tell you that I am considering breaking ties with you.  I hate it because you have done nothing wrong.  It’s just that I got a job and several times already I have needed help from a more educated friend.

Please know that, if I follow through with this, it is nothing personal.  It’s business.  (I know… I’ve heard that one before too!)

I will never forget you and the place you have held in my heart and life.  You helped me raise my daughter and I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank you for that.

Friends forever,