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My Life in Ink – JoAnne Hancock

My Life in Ink – JoAnne Hancock

Tag Archives: grace

Knowing Better…Or Not

23 Friday Dec 2016

Posted by JoAnne Hancock in Ministry Musings

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Christmas, Do-over, Easter, grace, Kim Kardashian

I’m quite sure I have never quoted Kim Kardashian before now but, her statement, “If I had known better, I would have done better,” has resonated with me so often in recent days. I’m in a season of reflecting on and learning from some of my failures and, at times, find myself longing for a do-over. I have to remind myself often that I couldn’t know what I didn’t know.

So, what about the times when I DID know better and went right ahead and did it anyway? Enter the greatest gift, astounding grace. “Our Father sent the Babe of Bethlehem, who knew no sin, to BE sin on OUR behalf so that WE MIGHT BECOME the righteousness of God.” II Corinthians 5:21

It’s a full circle. The babe-of-Bethlehem-Jesus really is the cross-of-calvary-Jesus. The same guy. (Skit Guys) Or, to quote my favorite theologian, “Christmas and Easter are but the morning and evening of the very same day.” (Paul Merki aka Dad)

christmas

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An Offering Called Adoption

08 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by JoAnne Hancock in We Are Our Stories

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Adoption, children, Foster Parenting, gift, grace, National Adoption Month, offering, selfless, siblings

Because my parents had four children in the span of five and a half years, I have really never known life without siblings.  I was number three of four and shared the middle child status with my brother Dave who is not quite two years my senior.  We did our share of fighting as kids but began our “thick as thieves” years when I was a freshman in high school; the year we shared a locker and a lunch table.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIt was during the high school years when I also unknowingly shared a girlfriend with him.

Annette and meI met Annette at church camp and we quickly became friends.  Annette is one of six children who lived with their parents on a farm far from grocery stores, gas stations and youth groups.  Ours, at forty minutes each way, was the closest.  Annette had a mom who always put the needs of her children before her own needs.  And when those needs were spiritual, she was unstoppable.  So, before long, the Tilmant kids were a part of our church and youth group.
Tilmant farm 2 Tilmant farm

Mom Tilmant wouldn’t think of not returning for Sunday evening church so, most Sundays, I was at the farm for the afternoon or Annette was at our house.  Somewhere along the line when we were sharing secrets about boys, Annette’s boy secrets became about my brother Dave.  Ewww.
Dave and Annette 2
Those were the days I thought he stole my friend.  What I’ve come to realize is that their dating relationship and subsequent marriage was the best insurance I ever had for keeping Annette as my life-long friend.  Dave took my friend and gave me another sister in her place.  And I’ve been forever grateful.
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOne of Annette’s goals was to have her child bearing finished by her 30th birthday.  Child #3 was born in September of Annette’s 29th year and the family was complete.  But as the years passed, there were several periods of time when she did not feel complete.  In fact, at times the family felt incomplete for Annette.  But the decision had been made and, before long, they fell into complete rhythm as a family.
Merkis without AbbyThen as Nathan, Kristen and Philip grew into their teen and college years, Dave and Annette began entertaining the idea of foster parenting.  They took the classes, had the home inspections and, before long, had their first pre-school boy to foster.  They were hooked.  The whole family was hooked.

I have never been a foster parent.  I’ve only watched THEM foster parent.  And what I have learned from watching is that if you venture into the world of fostering, you had better leave your rose colored glasses behind.

It’s work.  It’s hard work.  It’s expensive.  Sure you get a stipend, but it nowhere near covers the expenses.  It’s not something you would ever do for the money.  At least not for more than one week.  It costs time too; lots and lots of time.  Time at the kitchen table catching up on years of school work never done.  Time at offices of counselors and dentists and doctors.  Time with siblings visits.  Time helping scarred and scared children learn to sleep in a new place; time that you don’t get to sleep in your old, familiar place.  Lots and lots of time.
foster parentAs an extended family we had fun with their calling.  It meant that we had young children at our holiday tables once again.  Once more, I was looking for trucks and dolls at Christmas.  Anticipation came with their every visit.

About six years ago, Dave and Annette had one elementary age girl.  She was high maintenance.  Very high maintenance.  Soon a call came asking if they would take two more girls – sisters.  Dave and Annette said yes because it’s just who they are.  Servants.  Givers.  Generous.  Lovers of children.  Christians.  For them, it was about introducing children to Jesus.  Giving them safe shelter, warm beds, full stomachs.  It was about BEING Jesus.  Hands and feet.  Praying parents.

Generous – it’s who they have become as a couple.  It’s their trademark.  And not because they have so much money.  It’s a place in their hearts.  And that’s were generous is supposed to reside.  The rich young ruler never understood that.  The money is what made him leave sad.  Had he given the money away?  Joy.  Contentment.  Servant.  Giver.  Generous.  Dave and Annette.

One of those two sisters was named Abigail.  Until Abby, the goodbyes required in fostering were difficult but not impossible.  Abby changed that.  She brought them back around to the buried question of whether their family was complete.  The answer?  It wasn’t.  But how do you choose to adopt one sister and not the other?  You don’t.  God takes care of those details in ways only He can.
Abby and Annette abby birthday Abby trick or treatabby foster days abby ear piercing Abby horseDave and AbbySo here they were.  Beginning adoption proceedings at just the time when their friends were celebrating empty nests.  Adoption proceedings in a messy, messy, messy system.  And that’s on a good day!  Adopting a fourteen year old girl – the exact age and gender that may most often be the answer to the question, “What do you think is the most difficult child to parent?”  Adopting when they themselves were becoming grandparents.
Abby dedication adoption day
And they did it with joy.  Pure joy with everyone in the family on board.  The love was (and is) undeniable.  Complete love both ways; them for Abby and Abby for them.

How?

Offering.  It became their offering.   Their gift.  Their grace.  And it was a gift Abby chose to receive.
givingThe best part is we all love Abby.  Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews.  In her own charming way, she has completed us all.

It was God’s good plan for Abigail.  An Abigail for whom God had a plan before she even came to be.  An Abigail who even looks like her sister Kristen.
Kristen and AbbyAn Abigail who has painted a beautiful picture for our family of what adoption looks like.  Adoption.  God’s idea for us from the beginning of time.  For each one of us.  His good plan for you.  And for me.
Abby parent Dave Merki siblings


adoption 2


adoption

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God’s Love Trumps My Guilt Every Time

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by JoAnne Hancock in Ministry Musings

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freedom, grace, guilt, love

This morning as I walked on the beach and looked at the endless expanse of water, all I could think was:
The Love of GodThose words always paint a picture for me when I am at the beach.  Interestingly, no one knows who wrote them.  There is speculation that they were penned by a man living in an insane asylum.  If that’s the case, he understood something in the midst of his insanity that I can rarely grasp.  He knew and understood the expanse of God’s love.  Not guilt – love!

I love that God and life continually bless me with new friendships.  It’s one of His greatest gifts to me and I am especially blessed when those friendships endure the test of time.  One of those friends is named Glenda.

I met Glenda about 20 years ago.  My husband was travelling the country at the time and had met Glenda’s family 2 years prior.  His love for them was immediate.  They didn’t live particularly close to us so when Tim kept asking if I would go meet them, I honestly didn’t see the point.  While I genuinely love people, I’m not generally a camp-out-with-them kind of girl.  But because it was important to Tim, I agreed to stretch myself and head north.  It was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI could tell you a lot about Glenda, but all you need to know for the purpose of this particular blog is that Glenda has taught me volumes about letting go of guilt.  And, more so, she has taught me about never picking it up in the first place.   She lives by the I’m-not-carrying-that-around-with-me philosophy.

It’s a simple philosophy.  If God convicts her about something, she confesses.  Then she drops it and leaves it.  Yes, really.  She LEAVES it!  It’s been quite a revelation to me of what is possible in the life of the Christian.

And about those things that involve self –imposed guilt or people-imposed guilt?  They don’t get ten seconds of her time.  Proper discipline of her children and now grandchildren?  No guilt.  Saying no because her plate is full?  No guilt.  Sleeping late?  No guilt.  More than two cookies at a time?  No guilt.  Not exercising today?  No guilt.  Buyer’s remorse?  None.  Choosing Biblical principles over political correctness?  No guilt.  Not supporting a cause that buried deep runs against her convictions?  No guilt.

I’m not hard wired that way.  I live more by the hello-guilt-can-I-give-you-a-piggy-back-ride philosophy.  It’s a complicated philosophy.  And it’s exhausting.
Guilt-tripIt’s a philosophy that often puts self and people on equal footing with God even though we’re not on equal footing – ever.

And carrying guilt so often gets in the way of understanding and experiencing God’s love.

So, today, I just want to remind you of the nature of God.  His nature is love.  I’m choosing to quote familiar passages using less familiar versions.  Why?  Because I hope that it will be harder for you to just mindlessly quote your way through if I use a version you haven’t committed to memory.

This is how much God loves you…

God's love 4

The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17 Amplified Bible (AMP)

5182884912_dc8a16a192_n
This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.  John 3:16-17 The Message

God's love 5
Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ.  Ephesians 2:4 The Message

God's love 2
So today I celebrate.  I celebrate by the sea.  I celebrate a God of grace and love.  I celebrate freedom from false guilt.  And I’m really okay if you want to join my party.  In fact, consider yourself invited.   I’ll welcome you…even though I’m not a camp-out-with-you kind of girl.

freedom from guilt
By the way; where are we going for dinner?

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